No Idea

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It all started at, of course, a wedding. A cousin from a family my family didn’t talk to often was getting married and my family and I were invited. It turned out that the couple had run out of people to ask regarding saying one of the prayers during the ceremony so they asked me. Having a history of singing and saying prayers on my own in church, I accepted without a second thought but they were still one short so they begged the groom’s (my cousin) sister (other cousin) to do the other reading and, as an added incentive so that it would not be so bad for her, and because I had done it before, I was given the bigger of the two and told to go first.

Before I go any farther, a note on my family and me. My name is Colm. I am twenty two years old. I am slightly chubby but, because I am six foot, three, it looks, not natural, but manageable. I have dark brown hair with, my favourite part of an, in my opinion, gruesome visage, a goatee. I also have, second favourite part, bright blue eyes which, I am told, are full of warmth, like a tropical sea. It was probably my mom who told me that.

And now for my family. It is the most boring family in the world. Everyone has a higher-lower class job and the most interesting thing that anyone in my family has ever achieved would be my great-grandfather’s winning half-a-dozen medals during WW2. Saying that, nobody in my family goes hungry and I am currently going to college. We are an upstanding family and none of my family has ever gone to jail or, short of illegally downloading, done anything unlawful or unethical in our entire history. This knowledge did not help the least bit on that day.

My parents, two sisters and I arrived at the church with five minutes to spare, were greeted at the door by the groom and his best man and were told to sit at the top to make it easier for me to get up to read. While we walked I kept an eye out for Jennifer, my cousin, and was relieved to spot her chatting with an aunt. She looked slightly nervous but not as though she would run or faint. Satisfied that I would not be on my own, I continued to the top of the church with my parents and took my seat.

While we waited an attractive young woman walked past our pew wearing a tight gold top with a tightly laced back, which I could just see through the sheet of shimmering brown hair which fell in a beautiful wave to the small of her back, and a matching skirt which stopped just above the knees, giving a fantastic view of two long, shapely and caressable legs. Being a horny bastard, I could not help but watch her swaying hips, gorgeous pert ass and thin waist but it was her legs which kept catching my attention, which surprised me. Usually it is the ass or the breasts (most often the breasts) which keep me staring. Legs are a mode of transportation without which wheelchair sales would skyrocket but her legs were so beautiful that I seriously considered walking up to her, kneeling in front of her and, church or not, licking those luscious legs from her ankle to the bottom of her pussy and back again. Thankfully she sat down in the front row and the marching song for the bride started playing so I did not have time to cum in my suit.

The start of the ceremony went off without a hitch and it was soon time for my reading.

“And now,” said the priest, “I would like to call Jennifer and Colm forward to do the readings.”

I stood up solemnly and, hands clasped in front, walked to the altar. When I reached the altar I was so happy that I had my hands in front that I would have thrown all of my money into a charity box if there was one nearby which, because of the wedding, there wasn’t.

Waiting at the altar for me to come alongside was my cousin, the woman in gold. I had another brief glimpse of those perfect legs and gorgeous ass, enough to get me hard, in a church, in front of my family, when I drew alongside and we continued up the steps together.

In an instant which felt like an eternity Jenn glanced over at me and I looked back. She flashed me a brief smile, which I reciprocated, then turned round. I kept watching her for a half of a heartbeat. She had grown since I last saw her. She’d been thirteen when I saw her last but now she was an eighteen year old beauty. The face was the same, slightly angular, cute button nose, deep brown eyes, beautiful smile with even white teeth, but she was roughly five foot, five; a foot above what she was. Also, I don’t think she had breasts before but she certainly had them then. Looking down her slightly open top, I had a fair view of the perky, firm, well-rounded handfuls which reminded me why I prefer tits to asses, though not why I preferred her legs to her tits.

We got to the altar before I could catch my breath but, somehow, I managed to say the prayer without a hitch, while my cousin was standing behind me, outside of my line of view. When I was finished, Jennifer and I swapped positions and the piano and singer started up. I had nothing to do for the five minutes while the song was playing and my cousin was küçükçekmece escort talking but stare at her legs and ass, getting harder and harder. The microphone was situated at the back of the pedestal and Jennifer had to lean forward slightly to reach it. She was in a perfect position for me to walk up to her and grab a handful of that gorgeous ass, perhaps reaching a hand around her waist and fondling a boob at the same time…

Kissing her neck…

Using the hand that grabs her ass to pull her skirt up…

Moving the other hand down her stomach…

Two fingers up her wet pussy…

It was at this point that I immediately did three things. 1. I started staring at the ceiling, 2. I started reciting the hymn that was just on and 3. I grabbed hold of my cock, both to stop everyone else seeing my raging boner and to stop myself from grabbing her ass and starting those events which would inevitably culminate in me raping my younger cousin on top of the altar.

I was so caught up in not giving in to my lustful thoughts that I only realised that Jenn had stopped reading when the singer started off again and she was already three steps down from the altar. I kept staring dead ahead all the way down the steps, determined not to look down but Jennifer’s ass gave me one last parting gift.

I was a pace behind her when Jenn dropped her mass booklet. She quickly bent down to get it but because I had been staring straight over her head I did not realise in time. I walked into her while she was bent fully over. I bent slightly over her to attempt to keep my balance while my hands flew to her two cheeks to stop us both from falling over. It was during that millisecond, when my groin and Jennifer’s ass were mashed against each other that I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that if Jennifer and I had been naked, my cock would have gone straight up her pussy and it would not have stopped until my balls touched base. As it was, my cock had been so long and hard that the only way she could not feel my hard-on was if she had been wearing her concrete panties.

She straightened up and I managed to quickly skip around her and back to my seat. By the time I sat down Jenn was already sitting and my balls were starting to contract. Thankfully, I’m nothing if not disciplined and I managed to subdue the orgasm… barely. I also managed to not disgrace myself by keeping my dick under control for the rest of the ceremony, mainly by not looking at Jenn.

Afterwards, my family and I jumped in the car and drove to the hotel. Where I could spend the night lost in the crowd and away from Jennifer. Or at least that was the plan. Really, it was a bad-to-worse situation.


When we got to the hotel we checked in (we were staying for the night) and I went upstairs to drop my bag off.

And empty my bags, as it turned out. As soon as I entered my room and saw the open door to the bathroom, I was transported back to the church. I could practically feel Jennifer’s ass under my hands and my cock pressed against her skirt. Then the scene changed and we were still in the church, but we were both naked and my cock slid smoothly into her pussy. I ran to the bathroom, dropped my pants, pulled my prick out and jacked off. I don’t know how long it took but I came once Jenn had finished deep-throating me and was busy slurping down my sperm.

After that I hurriedly cleaned myself up, went downstairs and took my place in the room where dinner would be served. The food and conversation was great and I quickly forgot about Jenn, who was sitting on the other side of the room.

It was then that my sister leaned over to me and said, “We found someone for you. Don’t go too far after dinner.” They were always doing things like that and I had stopped trying to dissuade them ages ago. The problem was that the women they found were always sluts and (call me crazy) I prefer women with a character that is not constantly tuned to the next cock she is going to swallow.

But I always gave them a chance. After dinner I confined myself to the beer-garden, knowing that my sisters would know where to find me. I like music but the really loud, and not to mention terrible, music on offer at a wedding is not my kind of thing.

My sisters introduced the girl while their boyfriends were off drinking and she seemed nice enough but she liked everything to do with clubbing and I don’t. I tried to get away but she, probably, had orders from my sisters not to leave until I came. It was starting to get ridiculous when another person joined us and said, “Hey, he’s mine!”

It was Jennifer. The girl looked at me but when she saw the smile on my face and, I think, the lust in my eyes, she quickly left.

“Thanks,” I said. “If she had stayed any longer I don’t think I could have stopped myself from bursting out laughing.”

Jennifer smiled. “No problem. I can’t stand skanks like her.”

Chuckling, she sat in the newly vacated seat beside me and we started chatting. kurtköy escort

After glancing at her tits and legs dozens of times I remembered why I was especially keen to stay away from the party that night. “Hey, I thought that you liked dancing and that kind of music. Why are you out here saving my bacon rather than in there catching the eye of some stud?” I asked teasingly.

She smiled as she said, “I just felt like being talked to like a normal human being rather than thrown around like a Barbie doll.”

I immediately felt guilty for thinking of her sexually and, silently, resolved to keep my lecherous thoughts for later.

I had a great time after that. Jenn was the opposite of the other girl. She always kept her legs together, sexual jokes made her laugh instead of saying, “O.K”, and she talked a lot about movies, school and animals, all of which interest me more than clubbing. She was funny and not afraid to say what she meant. She also had this manner where thinking outside of the box became natural.

At one point she looked up at a floodlight that was hanging at the top of the hotel. The darkness made it look like a light was shining from the night sky instead of hanging from a wall. She immediately said, “Look! The light at the end of the tunnel! Am I in heaven?”

“If you were in heaven,” I said chuckling, “I am guessing that you would be surrounded by better looking guys than me!”

She looked at the ground and said, rather shyly, “Colm, you have no idea.”

I pestered her for the rest of the night but I had no idea then and no idea now what that meant. Did she mean that personality was more important? Did she mean that she thought I was handsome? Was she signalling the A-Team to pick her up? I have no idea.

A little while later, at about ten o’clock, we retreated into a lounge set apart from the wedding, there was light piano music playing. One of her cousins asked us over and what we wanted to drink, Jenn said vodka, I said coke. That was when I had my first Jaeger-bomb.

The problem with getting drunk is not knowing when it has happened so you can make the necessary adjustment to your behaviour so you do not end up acting like a total prick. In the past it was easy: when I could not hear the loud music, I was drunk. That night was the first night when I got drunk without the loud music. I can remember every single moment as clearly as I can remember the last five seconds. I am not sure that that is a good thing.

It took two Jaeger-bombs, a few pints of cider and an hour and a half for me to get completely pissed, during which time me and Jenn talked to most of our relatives and generally made ourselves as accommodating as possible.

While we were busy being respectable a contest started. We both tried to make the other as embarrassed as possible. It started when my mom started talking about singers and Jenn replied that she wanted to be one. It was a well known secret and I, quite deep in my cup by then, grabbed her thigh and said, “No!” in as shocked a voice as I could muster. Everyone laughed and the conversation continued. A few minutes later my mom looked at Jenn and said, “Are you feeling okay? You look flushed.” I looked over at her in concern but she kept staring at her lap. It was then that I realised that I had forgotten to take my hand off her thigh. Not only that but I had been unknowingly stroking it for the past few minutes. I immediately withdrew my hand with a murmured “Sorry” and tried not to look guilty.

She got back at me at a different table. An aunt was talking about a photo and Jenn wanted to see it. Instead of holding her arm across me so her aunt could pass the picture, Jenn moved really close to me and pressed her breasts against the right side of my chest so that she could see it while her aunt held it. It gave me an excellent view. My cock immediately perked up and my face went red. It could be argued that it was accidental but when she was moving away, her hand casually slid across my trousers, over my bulge. She had a self satisfied smile when she sat back. It was war.

We did it dozens of times, some pranks being more blush-creating than others. In the interest of time I will describe the most effective.

Hers came at around eleven thirty. We were sitting in an area with no table. There were four large two-seater couches in a square with small coffee tables for every seat. Jenn and I were in one and friends of her father were in the others. We were being regaled with a very boring anecdote by one of them when Jenn threw her legs over the arm of her side and rested her head in my lap, looking up at me with a smile like a Cheshire-cat. My cock quickly became hard and she delighted in turning her head to look at the speaker then turning back to look at me, each time “accidentally” rubbing from one side of my helmet to the other. When she wanted to leave I said, “I’ll be with you in a minute”, and asked the speaker about some obscure part of his story. He was really maltepe escort boring and he talked for just long enough for my boner to shrink.

Mine came at around eleven forty-five. I had gone to the toilet and on my way back I saw Jenn talking to a guy. She did not look happy and he had the kind of sleazy look on his face that is instantly recognizable to any guy. I got angry. I try to say it was because she was my cousin. I’m not so sure.

I walked up behind her without drawing attention to myself. I had a choice: either say, “Hey, she’s mine” like she had earlier, or option ‘B’. I went with option ‘B’.

I stepped up close behind her, so my stomach was slotted into the curve of her spine, lay my head on her shoulder, hooked my left arm over her arm and cupped her breast, hooked my right arm under hers and rested my hand over her pussy and said “Hi, can I help you?” He backed off but I stayed where I was and waited, my cock getting harder and harder until I was sure that she could feel it pressing against her ass.

After a few minutes Jenn cleared her throat and said, “Um, why are you still holding me?”

“I was waiting for you to say ‘Thank you’”, I said in a low and husky voice, the only one I could manage.

She cleared her throat again. “Th-thank you.”

I kissed her on the neck, she gasped, and I whispered, “You’re welcome.” Simultaneously I squeezed her breast and hooked my finger so that it rubbed off her pussy and she groaned loudly. I turned away and went in search of my drink. I was drunk, sue me.


Midnight found us alone in a booth in a corner of the lounge, drunk but unknowing of that fact. It had been a while since either of us had talked, we were both quite tired by then, but we sat in a companionable silence.

Jenn yawned and looked at me sorrowfully. “I’ll have to stay with my little brother and his friend tonight. I hate having to do that. They are going to keep me awake all night!”

“You have a treble room, don’t you?”

“Yeah but wandering hands are the least of my worries. I don’t want to have to go to the bathroom to change and I hate sleeping in a single bed.”

I took another sip of my drink, pondering the problem.

“I have a treble room too. You could stay the night with me if you like.” At this point I should say that I had no ulterior motive. I was just trying to help my cousin. “You would still have to change in the bathroom but at least you could have the double bed and I promise to let you go to sleep at some point.”

Her face immediately brightened up and she threw her arms around my neck and knelt on the couch with her knees on either side of my thighs. This is when the ulterior motives started coming.

She quickly got up and started walking towards her mother. Feeling like it would be the best thing to do, and making sure that my face was composed in a neutral expression, I followed. When she was told the news my aunt cast me a quick searching look but she quickly smiled and said it was okay by her. We stayed for a short while but we were tired so we said our goodbyes and left. Taking a quick detour to the bar to buy some cans and then to grab Jenn’s bag, we went to my room.

It was exactly the way you would imagine a treble hotel room. Painted white walls, one double bed in the middle of the room, an ornate mirror hanging overhead, one small single bed squeezed into a corner, a T.V facing the double bed and two chairs facing away from a window.

Jenn threw her bag into a corner, put the cans in the fridge, leaving two on a table for us, and switched on the T.V. “I don’t really feel like going to sleep yet”, she said as she sat down on the end of the double.

Now more than ever I took in the amazing woman before me: she had the exact personality that I have always found attractive. And sexy? From where I stood I could clearly see the beautiful face, firm little tits, that I could see by looking down her top, and the two incredible legs that crossed ever so elegantly to stop me seeing her pussy. She didn’t seem to realise that the rest of her was enough to make me want to cum even without seeing her cunt as well.

I quickly subdued every single sexual thought. I reminded myself that she was my cousin. It would be wrong on so many levels: not only would it be incest, she was so much younger than me, plus she might not want to do it then it would be assault. I quickly resolved to do the same as I did in the beer-garden: be a good cousin and not let any stupid impossibilities ruin a perfectly good relationship.

I quickly sat on her left, opened the cans and we watched a crappy action film for a while.

After around three cans each, Jenn looked across at me, smiling, and said, “That was fun, that competition.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled. “We should do that again. I wonder if anyone realised.”

Jenn laughed. “If they did it wouldn’t make a difference. We’re cousins. It’s not like we could do anything anyway.” She got a mischievous smile on her lips and started running her hand up and down the crotch of my pants, gently stroking my previously flaccid cock. My poor penis. After being aroused so many times that day, it shot up like a bolt of lightning, taking my blood pressure and my pulse with it. I was just about to start moving with her hand when she suddenly stopped.

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